By: Nayerie Youssefian
www.phoenixjourney.com
Clarity Cookie:
My faith deepened not when life was predictable—but when it shattered.
I used to think faith looked polished. Perfect. Like a Sunday best with hands lifted high and prayers spoken with confidence. But my real faith? It was born in brokenness.
I coach today not because I know all the answers, but because I’ve sat in silence with God when there were none. I’ve sobbed through verses, shaken through prayers, and still dared to believe He was listening.
🔥 Faith That Burns Through the Darkness
The night of my accident changed everything.
I had a rhythm to my life, a way I thought things were supposed to go. I prayed faithfully, tithed regularly, served with passion. In my mind, that equaled protection. I thought faith was a formula.
But faith is not a transaction. It’s not a guarantee against heartache.
I lay in that hospital bed with both ankles shattered, my spine injured, my life paused. It was in that silence that the Lord whispered something new: I never promised ease, but I promised presence.
Psalm 77:19 says,
Your way was through the sea, your path through the mighty waters; yet your footprints were unseen.
Sometimes, the miracle is not in the avoidance of pain—but in the fact that you made it through. That verse held me. It reminded me: even when I can’t trace Him, He still leads me.
🌟 The God Who Meets Us in Weakness
2 Corinthians 12:9 says:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Those words were a balm for me when nothing made sense. I couldn’t fake strength anymore. My body wouldn’t let me. My spirit was too tired.
And that’s when I encountered the tenderness of Christ.
He didn’t demand performance. He didn’t scold me for doubting. He just showed up—in the nurse’s kindness, in the whisper of worship music, in the quiet stillness of night.
Faith didn’t look like confidence then. It looked like staying. Like whispering, “I still believe You’re here,” through trembling lips.
That kind of faith—the honest, raw kind—is more powerful than any sermon I’ve ever heard.
🌿 Faith is Choosing Light Over Logic
Logic would have told me to give up. To blame. To harden.
But faith is about choosing light, even when the path forward is blurry.
Proverbs 3:5–6 says:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
There were days I didn’t understand anything. But faith meant trusting the One who did.
So I trusted in little ways:
• Saying “thank You” for a pain-free hour.
• Reaching out to a friend and letting her pray for me when I had no words.
• Whispering scripture over my fears when sleep wouldn’t come.
• Choosing to believe that even in the silence, God was still present.
• Writing down one good thing each day, even when it felt like scraping the bottom of an empty jar.
Faith isn’t always about doing. Sometimes it’s about allowing.
🌺 Fragile Doesn’t Mean Fake
There is a lie that tells us we need to be strong to be faithful. That we can’t cry, or question, or wrestle with God.
But Jacob wrestled.
David wept.
Jesus Himself cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?”
If the Son of God could feel abandoned in His darkest moment, then my fragility isn’t failure—it’s part of the human experience of faith.
Fragility means you’re still trying. It means you haven’t walked away.
And that, my friend, is holy.
✨ Action Nibbles: Tender Practices to Ground Your Faith
- Breathe with Scripture – Pick a single verse (like Psalm 46:10) and repeat it slowly as you breathe.
- Write Your Own Psalm – Pour your honest thoughts to God, just like David did.
- Light a Candle – Let it symbolize the light of Christ that burns in you, even faintly.
- Play a Worship Song – Let the music hold you when you can’t sing yourself.
- Walk with Someone – Message a friend and simply say, “Can you pray for me?”
Faith is sustained in community. In stillness. In softness.
🕊 Faith Isn’t a Feeling—It’s a Decision
When everything else fell away, what remained was this:
God is still good.
Even here. Even now.
He never promised that I wouldn’t break.
But He promised to stay when I did.
So I keep going. I coach from this place—a place of tenderness, a place of truth. Not because I’m whole, but because I know what it is to be broken and still held.
If your faith feels small, remember: it only takes a mustard seed.
With love and belief in you,
Nayerie 🧵
Phoenix Coaching | Founder of Broken Open Book Club
🌐 www.phoenixjourney.com
Scriptures That Held Me:
- 2 Corinthians 12:9 – God’s power in our weakness
- Proverbs 3:5–6 – Trust without full understanding
- Psalm 77:19 – God goes before us even when He’s unseen
- Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
- Matthew 17:20 – Faith the size of a mustard seed
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