Meet Gratitude’s Twin Sister, “Attitude!”

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

~ Maya Angelou

These situations can leave us feeling challenged, taxed or embittered. However, while some circumstances may leave us feeling out of control, there is still one thing that is within our control and that is our attitude. We have the power to decide, at any given time, how we will react to a situation in our lives. Oftentimes, our response to an event determines its outcome. And as we enter this season of gratitude, that truth becomes even more meaningful — because attitude shapes the way we receive life, not just the way we endure it.

It was November, 2012 and I was in a great deal of pain on the left side of my body. Due to post-surgical pain, I couldn’t sleep on my left side. So I favored the right and always slept on it instead of the left until I started having pain on the right side as well, probably because I favored it so much. I am a side sleeper, so I have difficulty sleeping on my back and sleeping on my stomach is impossible, due to back problems. This left me with a dilemma. I couldn’t sleep on my right, my left or my stomach, so this left me sleeping on my back. And I hate sleeping on my back.

In the beginning, I was really annoyed and spent several nights, tossing and turning and battling insomnia as I tried to find a comfortable sleeping position so I could get a good night’s rest.

Until it hit me that I was the one creating all the drama. I realized I was choosing to have a bad attitude about my situation and it wasn’t helping me at all.

 What could I do? I decided to reframe the situation. Instead of thinking, this sucks, I can’t stand sleeping on my back, I decided I would turn it into a game and ask myself, “How many nights can I go without sleeping on my side?” Sometimes, it lasted only a night and sometimes I could go for several nights, but instead of it being impossible, it just became a challenge and I rested more easily. It was just a much more positive way to deal with reality.

I’ve seen people who have everything — wealth, time, homes in Beverly Hills — and still feel miserable. Then I’ve seen children with one meal a day and miles to walk for water radiate joy. Why is that? It’s because often our happiness comes from a change in our attitude, not our circumstance.

There’s this quote I love from Charles Swindoll. He says,

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past, than education, than money,

than circumstances, than failures, than successes,

than what other people think,say or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.

It will make or break a company…a church…a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude 

we embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past…

We cannot change the fact that people will act a certain way.

We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play the one string we have,

and that is our attitude.

I’m convinced that life is 10% what happens to me

And 90% how I react to it.

Don’t you just love that? Awhile ago, my cousin, Savannah sent me this story in an e-mail I just love it. It really struck a chord with me because in addition to problems with my back and body, I also have really bad hair days. It’s a good reminder that life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and noticed she had only three strands of hair on her head.

“Well, “ she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day, she woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she only had two strands of hair on her head.

“Hmm,” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So, she did and she had a grand day.

The next day, she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one strand of hair on her head.

“Well,” she said, “today, I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day, she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single strand of hair on her head.

“YAY!, “ she exclaimed. “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

I don’t know who originally wrote this story, but it remains one of my favorites.

Attitude is everything.

I actually used this very speech once in one of my club meetings — and to my surprise, I won Best Speaker of the Night. It reminded me how powerful attitude really is when we share it from the heart.

And speaking of attitude, this season I treated myself to a sweater that says Thankful. It felt perfect — a little reminder to carry gratitude with me, especially during Thanksgiving. Sometimes the smallest things, even a cozy sweater, help us stay anchored in the attitude we choose.

Action Nibbles:

Take a situation you have been complaining about. Tell yourself, “This is bad because…” and list your reasons why it is bad.

Take the same situation and reframe it. Tell yourself, “This is good because…” and list your reasons why it is good.